Espresso Theology

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WWJD? Jesus would have a mullet

This week, the Australian town Kurri Kurri is holding its first ever Mullet Fest.

We have a love-hate relationship with the mullet. Short on top, long in the back. Affectionately known as “Business in the front, Party in the back,” “Mudflap,” or the “Seven.”

Many of us probably once had a mullet. Or we had a crush on a someone with a mullet – Patrick Swayze, Ellen DeGeneres, Billy Ray Cyrus, Andrei Agassi. The list just goes on and on.

But that was a long time ago. The mullet peaked in popularity in the 1980s. But since then its fortunes have been mixed.

Let’s face it. People are terrified by the mullet. For example, in 2010, Iran banned the mullet, seeing it as a threat to human decency.

The mullet will also make you the object of ridicule. As a social experiment, Jake Nyberg sported a mullet and then walked into an empty J. Crew clothing store, and none of the four employees bothered to serve him.

This is a shame. Because the mullet is probably the most practical haircut you can ask for. It keeps the hair out of your eyes, while shading your neck from the sun.

And it’s stylish! According to Dean Mellen, a nice mullet can flatter a short neck, create the illusion of high cheekbones, and lift the eyes. “There’s a mullet for everyone.”

Beauty can be an oppressive social construct. And in this case our society has got it so obviously wrong! The mullet is beautiful – in and of itself, regardless of what our society tells us - and we need to bring it back!

I’m sure if Jesus was around today, he would sport a mullet.

The Bible says of Jesus:

He had no beauty or majesty
to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance
that we should desire him.

(Isaiah 53:2)

probably because he had a mullet!

Or similarly:

Now to you who believe,
this stone is precious.
But to those who do not believe,
“The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone,”

(1 Peter 2:7)


In other words, just like the mullet, Jesus was beautiful and precious, but everyone missed it, because they had wrong notions of what was beautiful and precious. But if we can go beyond what society says is beautiful and precious, and be brave enough to choose for ourselves, we can find a beautiful new life in Jesus.

So, the next time you see a mullet and scoff, just think they also scoffed at Jesus!

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