IDGAF - but what if deep down you do?
If you’re offended by the F word, perhaps you better stop here. But, if you’re offended by the F word, perhaps you should also read on – because this song by Dua Lipa shows that the F word is no longer the swear word that it once was. The F word is used almost de rigueur by each and every pop song, to the point that surely by now it’s lost its shock value. A bit like if everyone wears low rise jeans, then what was once a symbol of radical individualism, becomes vanilla and mainstream. And when your mum and dad start to wear low rise jeans to fit in, it’s time to move on to something else. And maybe this is also what’s happened to the F word.
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You cannot ignore Dua Lipa’s IDGAF. It has almost 190 million views on YouTube. IDGAF sums up everything that sucks about growing up in the current Western world. There are so many competing storylines.
On the one hand, there’s the storyline that we DGAF about others. Don’t care what others think of us. In the end, all that matters is that we be ourselves. Chase our dreams. Don’t conform to the expectations of others. Do whatever makes us happy.
But on the other hand, there’s a storyline that men need to be better than who they are. They can’t go around “creepin’” on other women. They can’t “blame it all on the alcohol”. No. They need to treat their girlfriends with respect. In other words, conform to her expectations and do what makes her happy. They need to GAF.
When Dua Lipa’s boyfriend doesn’t do this, she (rightly) cuts him off. And now she DGAF about him.
I love this song. It’s basically a modern version of the classic Karaoke anthem I will survive.
But this can’t be endpoint can it? Because if we all DGAF then we all end up isolated and lonely. Even Dua Lipa admits, on Spotify, that her songs are sad songs. They are not celebration songs.
But if we continue to raise a generation to only do what makes them happy – i.e. a generation that DGAF about anyone else – then we are going to raise up lonely and isolated people. This is Sebastian Junger’s argument in his book Tribe. Our lack of collective responsibility has led to more depression, anxiety, and PTSD than what occurs in non-Western, tribal, cultures. Cultures that GAF.
Enter Jesus. Jesus makes the first move. He makes himself vulnerable. He does whatever it takes to bring us into a loving, personal, relationship. To the point where he dies for us, on a cross.
The cross is the ultimate way of saying I GAF.
And isn’t that what this song is really about? Dua Lipa is wishing that her boyfriend had at least GAF for her.
And with Jesus, we have the God who GAF about us. And because of that, we don’t have to go around for the rest of our lives pretending that we DGAF, when deep, deep down, we do.
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends"
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